A Change in Me
by savinglives44
Summary: Belle is naive and concerned about her wedding night and looks to Ruby for advice. What she discovers complicates her relationship with Rumplestiltskin and he is not pleased. Still, he wants the best for his love. Rumbelle.


**A Change in Me**

_There's been a change in me,_  
_a kind of moving on._  
_Though what I used to be,_  
_I still depend upon_  
_For now I realize_  
_that good can come from bad._  
_That may not make me wise, _  
_but, oh, it makes me glad!_

Belle leaned against the side of the pawn shop, smiling and letting the reality of her joy wash over her. She was engaged to be married to her Rumplestiltskin. She couldn't imagine anything better. As she caught her breath, she let the pads of her fingers run over her lips where Rumple had claimed her over. They would be able to kiss forever now, no curse or memory loss or darkness to stop them. She checked the dagger in her bag again, a reminder of how he had finally transformed.

She wanted to tell everyone she knew. She thought of who she could confide in first-Snow, Ruby, Emma...She figured Snow would be busy with the new baby so she landed on Ruby. She knew she could find Ruby at Granny's so she headed there quickly.

When Belle got there, she was so excited that she flung the door open. Everyone stared at her as she entered, but she just pretended like nothing had happened, grinning and waving at a couple of people.

She sat down at the bar and Ruby cautiously walked over to her. "What's going on?" Ruby asked slowly.

"What?" Belle said, trying disguise her enthusiasm a bit.

"Normally, you're pretty cheerful, but this is over the top." All of a sudden, Ruby gasped. "Did you get laid?"

"What? No." Belle frowned and then smiled again as she told Ruby, "Rumple proposed!"

"Really? Congratulations!" Ruby exclaimed, "Let me see the ring!" She held her hand out, anticipating Belle to place her hand over it with a sparkly diamond.

"He didn't have one!" Belle wasn't upset about that. "I'm sure he'll have one by the wedding. But he did give me something..." She motioned for Ruby to come closer so she could whisper, "his dagger!"

Ruby leaned back, "Is that a euphemism for something else?"

"No!" Belle rolled her eyes. "It's THE dagger. The dagger that controls the Dark One."

"Ohhh," Ruby raised her eyebrows, "That's a lot of power, Belle. Are you sure you can handle all that?"

"I don't know." Belle bit her lip. "Haven't really thought about it. I'll get to it after my wedding!"

"Ooh, can I be a bridesmaid?" Ruby smirked. "I'd love to get a new dress."

"Well, we haven't really talked about the wedding." Belle twisted a piece of her hair between her fingers, thinking. "I don't know if Rumple will want to have a bridal party. I don't know who he would ask to be groomsmen. It might be just us and an officiator."

"I guess that's good. You can get to the wedding night faster..." Ruby added in a singsong voice.

"Yep." Belle looked down at the counter, "I'm really looking forward to...that."

Ruby paused to gauge Belle's reaction. "You and Gold have had sex before, right?"

"What?" Belle nearly fell off her chair. "I'm no harlot!"

"Oh!" Ruby laughed, "I forgot. You haven't spent much time in the real world. Listen up- people have sex before they get married here, and it's like, not scandalous."

Belle's mouth dropped open in shock. "Really?" She frowned, having her doubts about this new standard. Still, she said nothing against it, not wanting to be ignorant. "I wonder if Rumple knows that. I wonder if he's...lain with anyone else here." As soon as she wondered out loud, she regretted it. They were soon to be married now and she didn't want to ruin his trust by gossiping about him. Still, the words were out of her mouth and she waited for Ruby to reply.

Ruby twisted her nose in disgust, "Ew. No. I don't think so. Sometimes his fights with Regina were sexually charged, but I'm pretty sure he's never had eyes for anyone but you." She batted her eyes mockingly. Belle barely let out a breath of relief before Ruby continued, "Still, he's been married before and has a kid and he was the Dark One for, like, centuries so I'm sure he has a few notches in his belt."

"Oh no..." Belle hadn't even thought of all of that. His past exploits with Milah had crossed her mind at some point before, but now that they were engaged, she was forced to deal with them.

As worry crossed Belle's face, Ruby reached for a glass and poured some water in it, handing it to Belle. "I'm sure you'll figure it out. It's human nature. Plus, on the hotness scale, you're a ten and he's like a...six...generously," she muttered under her breath.

Belle grabbed Ruby's hand. "No, no! You have to help me!"

Ruby yanked her hand away. "I am NOT helping anything between you and Mr. Gold. Ick!" She exclaimed again.

"Oh, Ruby. I know the basics. I just want to know how to make it good...I want to please him. Please help me," she begged.

"I will not help you," Ruby refused, "But there is this magazine called Cosmopolitan..."

* * *

Three hours later and halfway through Ruby's stack of Cosmo's, Belle was going cross-eyed from all of the new vocabulary and skills she was learning.

And she was horribly aroused.

It was way worse than the flush she felt run over her body when Rumple stood behind her and kissed her neck. Reading about what she was going to experience in a few days...picturing what she could do for Rumple and what he might do for her, it made her want to walk home to him and let him take her in his bed that night.

Which he would not be expecting at all.

He was expecting her to be home, pure and reasonable in a few minutes. She was so embarrassed. The past fifteen minutes, she'd been crossing her legs tightly. It relieved some of the pressure, but nothing compared to what she needed. She wondered if Rumple would know exactly what to do.

She stood up and paced the room a bit, trying to work out the extra energy. She groaned in frustration and called him.

He answered his phone almost instantly, "Hello, love. Coming home soon?"

"Hi," she tried to sound normal. "I'm sorry, Rumple. I have a lot of work to do at the library. I'm just going to stay the night at my apartment."

"But it's our engagement night. Can't you take a break from work?"

"Oh," she held her breath, wondering if in this world, couples were supposed to make love on their engagement night. "Forgive me, is there a cultural norm about engagements that I'm unaware of?"

He laughed, "No, Belle. I just wanted to see you. If you really need to work, I understand though."

The way he was talking wasn't making her problem any easier. His romance used to just send butterflies through her stomach, but now it added to the ache between her legs."Yes, Rumple. I really think it's best. Now have a good night. Love you. Bye..."

"Why are you trying to hurry me off the phone? Is there something wrong?"

Oh, she was in trouble now. His voice was increasing in pitch to the way he talked when he was fully the Dark One. He only talked like that when he was really worried. "Nothing's wrong, Rumple. Just having a long day. I can't wait to marry you," she attempted to turn his mind towards more pleasant things.

"I will just take a little trip down to the library to help you with things."

"No, really, Rumple..."

"It's no problem, dear. See you soon."

He hung up the phone with a click and she rushed over to the magazines she was reading, looking for a place to hide them.

Not a second after, he knocked and popped his head in the door of the library. "Belle. Is everything okay?" He spotted her and rushed over, holding out his arms in an attempt to embrace her.

She pushed him away. "You used magic to get here."

"It sounded urgent."

"I told you not to come."

"Which was highly suspicious." He looked around the library, seeing that she was not in trouble. "I'm sorry. I let my imagination run away with me. You sounded so different on the phone...like you were trying to hide something. I thought that someone could be holding you hostage. Silly now, it seems." He brushed some hair away from her forehead and she let herself come close to him.

She placed a chaste kiss on his lips. "You should head home. I'm in the middle of an important project." If he didn't leave soon, she was going to come undone.

"Why the need to stay? Your library is pristine." Gold gestured out into the stacks. Then he saw her stack of magazines and she held her breath as he approached them. "I can help you put these away..." His hands glossed over the cover of one and he noticed that one was open. "Belle, were you reading these? You can just bring them home with you,"

"I don't think so..."

He noticed the title of the article she was reading and his eyebrows raised, "Ah. The seven best orgasm tricks in the world? Good to know." He shut the magazine, looking at the table and Belle thought she saw a hint of blush in his cheeks. "Did you read all of these?"

"Most of them," She stepped closer to the table where he was. "Ruby told me...I was just preparing for our wedding night."

"This was Ruby's idea?" He closed his eyes and let his fingers drum over one of the covers. "Why did she think it was a good idea to read this?" His fingers stilled.

She nearly groaned. He was impossible to read. She paused and crossed her arms. "Are you angry with me?"

"I don't know." He yanked out the chair from the table and sat in it, massaging the bridge of his nose. "I'm trying to work that out before I say something stupid."

She felt tears well up in her eyes in shame. She let the feelings pour out in defensiveness, "I didn't do anything wrong. I was curious and I have a right to read whatever I want." Finally he looked up at her as she continued, "I felt alone and childish talking to Ruby today and now you're making me feel the same way."

He paused to think about what she said. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel that way." He opened his palm up on the table for her to take it. She rested her hand against his and clasped it. "I wish you'd come to me first, so that our sex life would be between us. I thought you would trust me enough to talk to me about it." He squeezed her hand. "No matter. Is there anything you want to discuss?"

She didn't know how to put into words what she was thinking about. "There's a lot of things I'm concerned about..." As she sorted through her thoughts, he tugged on her hand so she rounded the corner of the table. He nudged her hips back so she was sitting in front of him on the table. "Ruby shared with me that it was normal for couples to make love before they are married here. Is that something you'd want or were expecting?"

"I wasn't expecting that." She could feel the warmth in his hands as well as her own. "I haven't been one to adapt to the culture of this new world. I'd much prefer to be traditional- it reminds me that this is not my home." He paused and added, "I love you beyond what is physical between us and I believe that waiting honors that. But Belle, I want to do whatever makes you happy and most comfortable."

"Oh," She couldn't respond right away, shocked once more that he loved her so much. He had come so far from the Beast he'd been. But the more she loved him, the more she didn't know if she'd be able to wait. The warmth and pressure of arousal returned to her belly and she wondered what sort of strength she would need to restrain herself from him.

She supposed she should be thankful that her man had self-control when she didn't. She wanted to do as he wished, as he was wiser in these things than she was. "Thank you," she said, "I felt quite ignorant this afternoon when I found out so I'm glad you aren't disappointed in me."

"Not at all," He watched her concerned, his thumb stroking her hand in her lap.

She pursed her lips, thinking she should get away from him before she exploded from needing his touch. She bit her lip, harder than usual, and told him, reluctantly, "I would be happy with waiting."

Of course, he could sense that something was off. He stood and his hand cupped her face. "What are you not telling me?"

She leaned away from him, saying, "Rumple, you should just go. I'm fine. I will see you in the morning, I promise."

"I can't leave you like this. You look like you're in pain. What's wrong, darling?"

She did not want to tell him and be humiliated all over again. He wanted to wait. But she could see that he wasn't letting up until she told him. She felt her face flush a deep red. "It's just...I've been reading this magazines all day and I..." She couldn't say it, she didn't know how. She just looked at him and let her hand float slowly up to his jaw. As soon as she touched him though, she pulled his face forward and crushed her lips to his. She sucked at his bottom lip hard and grabbed hold of the lapels of his suit, pulling him into her. He opened his mouth for her and she kissed him, more hungry for him than she'd ever been. He responded with equal intensity, matching licks and bites. She felt his arms wrap around her, one hand groping at the top of her bottom, the other protective over her back. She groaned in response- it felt so wonderful to be this close to him. She enjoyed him squeezing and kissing and loving her until she knew she needed more. She needed to be closer.

He broke the kiss, gasping, and she realized she was out of breath too. He looked slightly tired, his mouth red. It was his turn to be speechless. They waited a moment, letting their minds catch up with what was going on with their bodies.

"Oh." Rumple said. His face broke out into a smile and he laughed, stepping away from her for a moment.

"What?" She didn't think he was laughing at her, but wasn't sure.

He rested his hand on the edge of the table where she was sitting, still chuckling. "The past half hour makes a lot more sense to me now. Why didn't you just tell me how you were feeling?"

She sighed, annoyed with herself. "Because I don't know how I'm feeling. I don't know what this is," she gestured to her body, "Or how to stop it."

"You didn't learn any new words from all your research today?" He said, still grinning.

"I didn't like them. They all make me sound so vulgar," she frowned in disgust. She saw that he was teasing her, buying more time to adjust to this new level in their relationship. She decided to give him exactly what he was asking for. "But if you really want to know, I learned about vibrators, breast sex- I think it's called, and eight things I can do with your balls."

"Excuse me?" A hint of darkness flashed in his eyes before he recovered. "I see," He said smugly, "the virgin is now the scholar." He stepped away from her, to the magazines. "Are these Ruby's magazines?"

"Yes..." she was confused. Did he want to read them?

"Excellent." He made a large metal trashcan appear and swept the magazines into them. With a snap of his fingers, they were on fire.

"Hey! I needed to return those!" She peered into the trashcan, "Ruby needs them."

"I'm sure Miss Lucas does need them to keep whatever current escapade she's on entertained. But you will not need them." They both stared into the fire, watching the pages burn.

"You're so dramatic," she narrowed her eyes at him. "We could have just given them back."

"I don't want you to read them anymore." He explained, "I wanted to teach you and show you what making love is like. Now your mind," he brushed his fingertips over her forehead, "is scarred with these images of what you think sex should be, what it should look like. And it will take a long time to undo your first impression."

She couldn't imagine what he meant, but she did feel guilty without really knowing why. "I'm sorry. I didn't think of that. Even with all that I've read today, you still have a greater past to overcome."

They both knew what she was speaking of- "Milah," He said and looked down momentarily. "You have nothing to worry about. Everything with her is in the past. I have no thoughts of her in that way anymore." He snapped his fingers again and the trashcan with the fire and magazines disappeared. "Speaking of undoing impressions," he stepped forward so he was inches from her, "Don't even think of trying any sexual acrobatics you may have learned without my permission. That will surely get us both injured. If you want to do something new, we can talk about it first."

"Fine." As he continued, she was getting increasingly frustrated with him.

"Also," He gazed at her curiously, "I have a feeling you will be vocal in bed."

"And..." 'We can find out right now,' she thought.

He looked away from her for a moment. "I'd like you to have more of a range of vocabulary than 'cock' and 'clit' and 'harder'."

"What about blow-job?" She shot back.

He wagged a finger at her. "Stop trying to distract me." He slapped his hand down on the table and raised it up about a foot. As he raised it, a stack of thick books appeared under it. "Historical romance. I want to hear more 'throbbing manhood' than..." He cringed, "Breast sex."

"I'll get right to work on these." She was actually excited for a little more intelligent read.

"Good." His placed his hands on either side of the table where she was sitting, trapping her. "I don't know what I want to do with you tonight."

"Do I get to be a part of that decision?"

"You are not thinking clearly. I am...somewhat." He let his lips graze her cheek. "I'm not used to being the level-headed one. I don't like it."

"I don't like it either. Please fix me."

"You're not broken," he growled. She wasn't frightened though; it seemed more out of his intensity of his feelings for her than out of any anger.

"Please help...or go away." Leaving would be the smart thing to do. After talking about sex for so long, they were getting worked up and it scared her. She'd never been in a place with him before where she'd completely lost control.

"On a scale of one to ten, ten being the MOST aroused you've ever been in your life..."

"Ten." She didn't hesitate.

"Belle..." He groaned again and placed his lips to her shoulder. "I am still only a man."

"Then let's just do this. We can worry about the consequences tomorrow."

He took his lips off of her. "It scares me that you say that. You're not thinking."

"I know," she shivered in need of him.

His hand clutched the back of her knee and he bent down to kiss her by his fingertips. "I'll do some preliminary research and then decide what needs to be done."

"Okay." He would take care of her, she knew. His lips and hands moved up her thigh and she jumped...in surprise, in arousal- she didn't know what.

"Sensitive," he commented. He stood back up and let his hands wander up her thighs. He smiled warmly at her, "Still doing okay?"

"Mhmm." She rested her head on his shoulder.

His hands went all the way up her outer thighs to grasp the elastic of her underwear. She lifted her pelvis up so he could slip it off. They got caught on her foot and she noticed his hands shaking in anticipation. When he had them free, he fingered them and balled them up and she knew he could feel her wetness.

"Completely soaked through," he narrated, pocking the panties and embracing her. "You've been like this all day?"

"I've not been comfortable," she admitted.

"No," he agreed. His fingertips scraped at her inner thigh and she knew he wanted to touch her, but that he was debating internally. "I don't think we should make love tonight. It would be very impulsive and I don't think it's wise. I don't want you to do something that you would regret."

"Okay," she halfway whined, clenching onto his jacket and not wanting to let him go.

"I do want to relieve you though. I can do something small for you. I would like to touch you, if I have your permission."

"Yes, yes," she pleaded.

"I love you, Belle, so much." He kissed her and let his fingers trail to where she needed him.

She moaned loudly into his mouth and felt him stroke her. He slipped easily and she was glad. She tilted her hips up to get him to move.

"Wow," he muttered. He rubbed her slowly and then slid a finger into her.

"Oh!" She gasped, looking at him.

He was watching her lovingly. "I can't wait for you to be my wife, mine forever," he said, and she felt him add another finger in her.

She'd been right before. He knew exactly what she needed, but she still felt like she had to plead for something. "Rumple," she whimpered. Her entire body felt like it was clenching. Her fingers tightened on his shoulders, her feet wrapped around his legs, and she felt all the muscles in her stomach and around his fingers pull involuntarily.

"Relax, love, I will get you there."

She nodded and pulled his body closer to hers so she could bury her face in his chest. He was moving his fingers in and out of her and she was so wet that it wasn't painful. The movement and friction immensely added to her pleasure.

He stopped moving his fingers in and out and instead curled them up into her. He touched a spot that made her yell out. She didn't know what she was saying anymore. He stroked her hair with his free hand. When he found that spot again, he pressed into it hard and she curled her body around him, shaking, "Please, Rumple, please. Almost there." Almost where, she didn't know but her body did. It was tensing up, begging to be released.

"All right," He said comfortingly. He partially withdrew his hand, rubbing where she absolutely needed it in circles, and it set her free. She reached the peak of her ecstasy and her muscles clamped down hard again and again. Her whole body let go and she clung to him, feeling the release in every part of her. She realized that he was moving his hand in time of what her body what doing. The intensity of her experience caused tears to slip down her face. She wanted to explain to Rumple that she wasn't upset, but he seemed to understand.

"It's okay," he said, "We can just be quiet for a while." He removed his fingers from her after a bit but let them rest on her thigh.

She nodded and took a couple of deep breaths.


End file.
